Many adults, especially women, struggle with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD in silence. So many people suffer not knowing that their brains are different, and they experience the world differently. For adults with ADHD, symptoms can present as laziness, carelessness, or outright lousy behavior to those who don’t understand neurodiversity. Discipline is often the go-to “fix” with difficulties concentrating, paying attention, or completing tasks. Research shows that daily structure, called scaffolding, and consistency support those with ADHD. However, strict discipline and shaming cause lowered self-worth and confidence. Feeling like a failure leads to anxiety, depression, and feelings of worthlessness.
Even in adulthood, constantly feeling like you just don’t get it or that something is wrong with you often feels like a personal failure. The emotions that come from shame are often the connector from ADHD to shame and worthlessness, leading to depression and anxiety symptoms. The key to unlocking the ADHD brain is understanding that not all brains work in the same ways. Understanding that a person with ADHD operates from a neurodiverse perspective can make all the difference in self-confidence and wellbeing. A few changes can be made that can significantly impact how we function and protect our mental health.
Here are five ways to unlock the ADHD brain and support mental health daily.
- Break down tasks into smaller tasks. Planners, lists, and dry-erase boards can be utilized to support daily duties and responsibilities. Write out how you structure your day, pay attention to how much time it takes you to complete each action. Add a few minutes for flexibility, and you’ll be able to keep on top of your day without using up all of your executive functioning. Find planners here and here.
- Read up on brain hacks—many books about accepting your neurodifferent mind and “hacking” your processing are available. Lara Honos-Webb has a book titled Life-Changing Strategies to Improve Executive Functioning: Brain Hacks (2018). The book has five quizzes that break down the different struggles that face adults with ADHD. She gives exercises based on the individual’s quiz results to improve functioning in each area. It’s all about outsourcing your energy. You only get so much each day, don’t waste it if you don’t have to. Find this book and others here.
- TikTok. Yes, I know that TikTok is a black hole for people who struggle with ADHD, but the wealth of information for adults with ADHD on the media platform is invaluable. Accounts like @wouldyakindly, @mymediocrebest, and @sigh.yuri are just a few who often post about lived experiences with ADHD and hacks to improve quality of life. To find more, visit this blog post.
- Social Media. Speaking of TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, Youtube, Pinterest, and all social media that distracts us daily, you need limits. Limits keep us safe. Social media spaces are no different. Give yourself a time limit for social media and screens in general and stick to them. If you want thirty minutes of Instagram before you go to work, you can have it, but you need to stick to that time limit. Some apps help set and keep limits but using alarms or timers works as well.
- Reward Mindset versus Restriction. At some point in our ADHD acceptance journey, we’re going to have to let go of the idea that our value equates to our productivity. That we don’t deserve rest until we’ve done the hard thing. Thinking this way is restrictive and doesn’t allow your natural creative ADHD brain to roam and do its best work. When we allow our brains to be as they are, we can see that we might need ten minutes of rest for every twenty minutes of work. We can be ok with giving ourselves more time to get things done without the panic of procrastination. We can reward ourselves for just being instead of what we have accomplished.
Make small changes as you go. ADHD will tell you to revamp your whole life right now, but tackle one thing at a time. Organize one cabinet in the bathroom to make getting ready easier. Declutter your workspace and start fresh. Clear your email for fifteen minutes every day and only check your inbox at certain times for a limited amount of time. Establish a sleep schedule. Get up at the same time every day and follow the routine built just for you and your life. Slowly you’ll see things come together, your executive functioning will improve, and you won’t use all of your energy just trying to remember the details. You’ll have more time and energy for the things that make you feel good.
On a personal note I struggle with remembering to put simple things away like the milk carton, or appointments! I have adapted two tools that have helped: My fitbit for silly reminders like to put things away and a lovely planner than focuses on 90 days at a time. I have this amazing product for sale on my site at: descendencialatina.com
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